Tag Archives: silly

Young Beowulf Learns of Love and Rejection

Published / by Gabriel / Leave a Comment

Obviously,
the woman lacked brains.

How could she not appreciate
the personal attention to detail
inherent in a bouquet of limbs
torn from the shoulders of trolls?

Yes, the oath to out-drink
the entire lodge in her honor
might have been ill-professed,
but couldn’t she see the tender heart
his ripped frame concealed?

Unperturbed,
he prepared to try again.
perhaps a rousing war song,
bellowed beneath her window,
would win his lady’s love.

Amelia Earhart and the Mutant Crabs of Nikumaroro Island

Published / by Gabriel / Leave a Comment
Though an accomplished pilot,
nothing could prepare Ms. Earhart
for the mutant crabs of Nikumaroro.

Brandishing Fred Noonan’s femur,
poor Amelia fought the good fight,
fought long into the Pacific night,
but a scrap of the Electra’s fuselage
makes a poor shield against

crustacean laser eyestalks.

Lineage

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Norman the janitor,
in a culminating moment,
in a boy’s bathroom
in a rural county school,
trashed for the third time this week,
remembers the blood in his veins.

The mop is a poor substitute
for a Viking broadsword,
but it is tempered by
a thousand years of
pent up rage.

Quiver, puny 6th-graders:
The berserkr cleans these
hallowed halls today,
bearskin overalls on his back
and angry froth in his beard.