We Could Scrape The Sky
Above the world,
Eleven workers dine:
Altitude on rye.
They sit as if riveted
Sipping insulated sustenance
From tin thermoses,
Waiting.
The lunch whistle
Beckons them back to peril;
Every man makes a wish
For boots with magnet soles.
When they return to earth,
Their caps and overalls exhale
The gusted scent
Of this progressive city’s zeal.
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Comments
Apr 5 2009
This sorta reminds me of either the Martian Chronicles or Star Trek.
Mar 24 2009
This was actually inspired by a fairly famous photograph: Lunchtime atop a Skyscraper, by Charles C. Ebbets. You've probably seen it at some point.
Apr 5 2009
Cool! Now I must look that up!
Apr 9 2009
Definitely an intriguing piece. I like how well it portrays humanity's desire for progress.
I'd recommend placing a comma after riveted, otherwise it seems to run together with sipping.
And might I add, I adore the line "Altitude on rye."?
Believe it or not my first thoughts were of that photograph and then a film which starred Lou Diamond Philips - can't remember its name now but I am sure there was a scene like that in it.
Anyway, I like this - nice and clean - hits the spot
Dec 20 2009
This conjures the photograph well, and Altitude on rye is an excellent line.