This piece was written by Christina Tidmore, one of my local readers and close friends, known on the site as SorchaRose. Christina is a splendid writer, if I could just get her to write more. :) -- Gabriel
I am Penelope and sit at the loom,
Silently working the shuttle,
Weaving, weaving, weaving
The death shroud of a man
Once majestic and proud.
No, not a lover or a suitor, at least not mine,
Though I but loved him all the years of my life.
He was a tree crowned with russet-red leaves,
Sturdy and weathered and worn, and mine,
Mine as no man was or is or will be,
A tree, a tree.
And he moved me.
Sometimes he feels like a lie,
A fragile, china-doll lie,
With callused hands and cracking skin,
Muscular and thin, oh but not too thin,
Smelling of wood, earth, and sweat.
Days and months and weeks fly by,
And I'm still weaving, weaving, weaving
This lie.
No, no, never a lie.
I was a child, and he was alive.
No, no, now he is changed.
Paper skin draped over cardboard bones,
Thin wispy cobwebs coating his head.
A tree, a tree,
A twisted grey tree,
He calls out to me.
I am Persephone
Descending, descending, lost in Death's lair.
A tear drops down and begins to mar
The white, white fabric
Of the shroud of a man once majestic and proud,
Like black, black tar.
I am Penelope and try to weave,
Fingers shaking and shuffling, clumsy and thick,
Stumbling and bumbling,
Tears of tar carving rivers, rivers, rivers,
Down my cheek-cliffs.
All the years of my life
I never imagined
The tree, the tree
Crowned with russet-red leaves
Would be a mangled, dead tree,
Knotted and wilted, ashen and bare,
Eyes focused on nothing,
Heart no longer pumping.
Then I'm climbing the stair,
Winding ancient stair,
And he's calling to me,
Voice echo, echo, echoing.
The fabric's reached the end.
I smooth it over, blemished and black,
And pass to the room where lies he.
And the air is thick, the room is stale.
The winter is here, the tree is felled.
I place the shroud down, down,
Down over a man once majestic and proud.
He calls out to me,
And the black, black tar
Begins to sculpt a tree
Crowned with russet-red leaves,
Sturdy and weathered and worn and
Mine.
I am Persephone, returning to spring.
Though humbled and moved
By a man who stood once majestic and proud.
But I reach the surface, and break free from the ground,
Oh let the sun shine,
Let the light in.
Comments
Jan 13 2010
Very strong imagery you have here. And the rhythm is entrancing at times.
I love the connection between Persephone and Penelope you make here, I haven't seen them combined before.
Persephone always has been my favorite Greek Goddess, because she represents the changing of seasons more than one particular season. I love how you've grabbed that aspect here and yet have thrown it all around somehow.
Apr 20 2009
JanOda, thank you! I was heavily inspired by Sylvia Plath's poem "Daddy" for the rhythm, so I owe her some credit. Persephone is my absolute favorite figure in Greek mythology, and I always felt sorry for Penelope and loved the dedication to the loom. I wanted to keep the 'P' theme throughout, so that's why I chose Penelope in addition to Persephone.
Thank you so much for your comment! It's wonderful to have such positive feedback...and certainly serves as motivation to try and write more.
Jan 13 2010
Ahhh, Sylvia Plath always makes me down. I quit reading her because of that, it wasn't an enjoyable kind of down.
I think I'd choose Andromache as my all time favorite Greek Myth figure in general, but as far as diety goes, Persephone is at the top. Andromache is a whole new level of tragedy though. In highschool I even cried once on a translation exam, while I was translating the scene where she and Astyanax say goodby to Hector. The sorrow. Gets me everytime, even after all this time.
As for the feedback, it was gladly done, and I definitely think you should write more!
And you can call me Jan
This is a stunning piece of writing; strong, vivid, visual, and heart-achingly emotive! Indeed, so wonderfully worded and evocative.
Apr 20 2009
Wow, thank you! I wrote this as a way to grieve for my father, so I had hoped my emotions really came through in the poem.