Liferaft / Loveraft



I am afloat
In the white rift
Between the ragged edges
Of your torn paper heart.
This is a floodplain
And your wet red ink
Bleeds over the levy wall:
I need you to blot this valley dry.
I don’t want to be swept
Out of you.

Comments

T
T's picture
User offline. Last seen 24 weeks 11 hours ago. Offline
Joined:
Apr 5 2009

There you go with the ink fetish again Tongue

Diana
Diana's picture
User offline. Last seen 4 weeks 5 days ago. Offline
Joined:
Apr 9 2009

Another beautifully executed poem. The only thing I might suggest is a comma after wet to separate it from red.

An amazing piece, well done.

Raeven
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User offline. Last seen 35 weeks 4 days ago. Offline
Joined:
Apr 5 2009

huh, i hate to disagree with everyone here, but i dont' care for this one as much. i like the imagry behind is wonderful, but the words used to capture it.. i dunno, i just don't get anything strong from it. like, what's the feeling? what's it saying? not a whole lot to me. it's an empty thought.