If I murdered just a part of you,
It’d be the acrylics on your fingertips:
Ersatz talons, no matter how they curve.
You would turn a tiger into a canary.
Grow gnarled and ragged.
Grind your claws sharp on the whetstone.
If you cannot draw blood,
You will fail.
Comments
Apr 5 2009
the end of this leaves me with a hanging feeling i wish i could explain
Apr 5 2009
Is it an epic fail?
Apr 9 2009
Mm, I'm finding that there's some connections only made with difficulty here. Such as connection a tiger to a canary. I can understand not wanting to make a typical connection, but this one may be a bit too large of a leap.
I might also drop the line "Grow gnarled and ragged." It seems out of place after the tiger and canary line and doesn't particularly fit with the line that follows.
Other than that, I think this is a rather nice piece. I like how it almost translates back to the phrase 'urban jungle'. Our world has transformed us into creatures that could no longer properly survive in a natural setting.
Well done.
Oct 30 2009
I've known women like this.
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