another one of those where you've captured something i've longed to be able to say myself - that is poetry

You've once again captured the essence of an almost undefiniable emotion. Bravo!

Unique idea, I enjoy the play with scientific terminology, speaking of faults, folds, and tectonic activity.

However, using the word "tectonically" makes it sound too scientific, which gives the piece a more remote and removed feeling which jars painfully with the passionate and intimate tone you had been setting.

While I do love the overall piece, as well as the idea of making love sound very earthy and warm, the mention of hummingbirds towards the end breaks the mood a little. Maybe using another Earth metaphor there would actually make it a tighter and more powerful piece.

I disagree with Diana, but I also have a sizable fetish for scientific words and concepts, so.

I would also very much disagree with Diana about the use of the word 'tectonically' here. While the distancing effect may not be the primary intent in the use of the word here, the shape and texture of it fit so wonderfully well that I would think it worthy for simply those reasons.

The fact that it can serve as a climactic point in the flow of the poem gives us an additional use for the jarring effect of juxtaposing a sharp-sounding technical word at just that point, underscoring and emphasizing that pinnacle point where the idea of two seeking to join becomes one joined.